Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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