dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
