It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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