dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize