you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
