One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
