I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
zippers are such a cool invention
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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