All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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