im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We are all done wearing pants today
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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