There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize
