Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
So much rum. So many feels.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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