i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
