So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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