Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
