I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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