just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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