GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
