On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm really busy with my period
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