Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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