so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
