i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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