If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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