maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
