I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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