You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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