She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i drank out of a bidet.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
