Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize