Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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