sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
