Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
