is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
