I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
