even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
