talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
