Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
