The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
