i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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