It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize