apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Sext me about skeletons
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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