So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
