I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You dont lie about slip and slides
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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