Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
