There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
