He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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