i think i have two assholes
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
we're so committed to being not committed
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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