It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I would fuck him just for his dog
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
