your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
