I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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