Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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