At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
