I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Randomize
