Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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