He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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