Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
