halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
