I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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