i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize