Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
