Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
