All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
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I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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