I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
