Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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