if i can run in heels then i can drive
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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