I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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