If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
