my mouth tastes like poor choices
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
